


Barry and The Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Bounty

by roamer_of_the_dusty_shelves



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: and so there is some violence? i'm not sure how deep i'll go., but i couldn't resist the pun, but i'll change the warning if necessary, but it'll be ok in the end!!!! (probably), i am a blupjeans main now and forever, ok so the title is slightly misleading cause there is angst, so keep an eye out for that, the whole gang will be showing up eventually never fear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:09:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22423858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roamer_of_the_dusty_shelves/pseuds/roamer_of_the_dusty_shelves
Summary: When the Reaper Squad goes on a bounty, things go very wrong very fast.Lup wants to Fireball some necromancer ass.Kravitz also wants to kick some ass, but can they avoid undue paperwork?Barry wishes necromancers could be more into the theory of the art than direct practice. Especially on him, thank you.Some love, some angst, a few infernos, one family outing, a pinch of divine intervention, and-as always-Astral Plane paperwork.Welcome to the Adventure Zone!
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Barry and The Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Bounty

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my first official TAZ fic!!! forgive me if i bend the laws of d&d a little-i love it, but alas, i have no group with which to play. hope you enjoy!!!!

They were walking through the “dark drippy murder cave”, as Lup had dubbed it, all three of them with weapons out and on high alert for any necromactic energies (or NECreepies and crawlies, as Lup had also dubbed them) emanating from the necromancer cult that supposedly used this cave as a base of operations. They had been tracking this cult for a few weeks now, with varying levels of success, but Kravitz had finally nailed down a promising lead from his raven retinue that he _still_ would not let Barry utilize, even though he’d _promised_ not to feed them full-fat suet again, it was an _accident_ , Kravitz, he just hadn’t read the label right-

when he saw the fragment of the ritual circle on the floor.

It was hidden away, under black and rotting ivy, and for a split second Barry wondered why the damp hadn’t rubbed it away, until in the next second he realized several things simultaneously-

it wasn’t written on the stone, it was carved into it, meaning-

it was woven into the stone, it was powerful, really powerful, old too, probably, only old spells pull that kind of heft, so what does it say-

 _really_ old, Infernal, wow, that was the sigil for capture, and the sigil for enslave, and the sigil for-

 _LICH_ -

and

( _carved recently, and concealed,_ the analytical part of his brain whispered in a calm, detached manner)

as all the other parts of his brain screamed-

LUP LUP’S GONNA STEP ON IT SHE’S _RIGHT THERE_ -

Because Lup had taken point with Kravitz, she was moving forward with her eyes glued to the looming darkness ahead and not the intricately carved ritual circle right under her feet that had been designed for the ensnaring and torture of liches, and she was going to _walk right into it_ -

And Barry Bluejeans made a decision not in a split second, but a decision that he’d already made, when Lup had kept not letting go, a decision made over a century of falling in love with the most perfect woman in the world and knowing that he would do anything for her-the only decision he could, or would ever, make.

He lunged forward, grasping Lup’s left arm, and yanked her back as hard as he physically could, pulling himself forward and off-balance in the process.

He twisted his body as he fell, as Lup yelped in surprise and fell in the opposite direction, away from the circle, so he could see her face. He wanted to see her, before the shit the fan. Before something really, really bad happened and he wouldn’t be able to anymore. He didn’t know what was about to happen, really, but he wasn’t afraid, because he knew that Lup would find him. He knew that she’d look, and she wouldn’t stop looking, for as long as it took, because the love they had for each other was so strong it bound them to their continued existence. They’d do anything for each other. And they both knew it. So it was ok. It would be ok.

Barry thought all this at Lup as hard as he could as he fell backwards towards some real bullshit, and then-

He felt himself fall into a field of crackling energy, and as it came alive around him he thought _oh boy I hope krav’ll let me grow another_ -

and then existence was red and pain and him an outline in the center of the unbearable weight of it-

and blackness.

* * *

Kravitz turned as Lup suddenly cried out with a, _guys, this is a serious mission, no goofs!!!!!_ ready to snap out in a highly annoyed whisper, only to see Lup and Barry falling in opposite directions, and Barry looking at her with a face full of love and the unique _im sorry_ you have for the person you love when there’s no other choice, and then the ground underneath him glows and Kravitz has only a moment to think _oH SHIT_ before he throws up a weak-ass hurried shield that he _knows_ Lucretia would call “superheated garbage”-

And then a blast throws him approximately the length of one of Angus’s soccer fields down the cave before he slams into a cold stone wall and the world goes sideways and blurry for a minute.

* * *

There’s a voice.

It’s distant, but it’s there, and it sound a little urgent, and it’s getting slowly closer the more she

wakes

up-

and suddenly there’s pain and dust and a horrific smell and she’s groaning-

“whaug?”

“Oh, thank the Queen. You’re not dead.”

“Augh…Krav?”

“Yes. Are you alright? Is anything broken? Can you sit up? Sorry, that’s a lot at once-“

“Take a chill pill, Skeletor, I’m fine. I’m in one piece and my brain isn’t Lup-soup.” She giggled at the rhyme, and then frowned. “OK, maybe a tad soupy.” she groaned. She sat up slowly, Krav shifting her to lean against the wall.

“Thanks, Kra-“. Her eyes snapped open. “Barry. Where is he, is he ok?” She looked around wildly, but Kravitz leaned forward and grabbed her shoulders.

“Lup. Lup, look at me.”

But Lup wasn’t looking at Kravitz. Lup was looking down what remained of the cave passage. Lup was looking at the collapsed passage, at the smoldering rocks, at the smoke and dust and sizzling remnants of arcane energy. Lup was straining, straining to see Barry, his body, his lich form emerge from the rubble sheepishly, rubbing his incorporeal neck and saying, _whoops, totally my bad, guys, that one’s on me_. And she’d run to him and be very annoyed only because she’d been so worried, even if it was only for a second, even if he was totally ok as a lich, even if she knew he’d never leave her, never, never again he wouldn’t leave her he _wouldn’t_ -

(and she was also remembering Barry pulling her backwards and falling into a glowing circle and smiling, smiling at her the whole time with that dumb, stupid, infuriatingly loving expression of his and she was reaching, reaching for him but she couldn’t catch him-)

The cave kept on smoldering and shifting as rocks collapsed and spewed more dust and that awful deathly smell-and Barry kept not emerging.

And Lup kept on staring.

“Lup? Lup, I-there was no time. Barry, I, I couldn’t stop him, I couldn’t-there was a circle, a ritual, a necromantic ritual-I didn’t see it, I didn’t know-Lup I’m so, so sorry-“

And Lup tries to not let go, but there’s nothing to grasp onto but the screaming fear that beats where her heart used to be.

**Author's Note:**

> i made this for tumblr originally, but i decided to also post it here!!! i want to continue it, so hopefully an update will come out before the next decade rolls around. i've always loved writing, but i fell out of the practice over the past few years. i'm trying to change that now! so, here's to me getting over my procrastination issues. let me know if you liked it!!


End file.
